Still, Aaron feels like a colossal failure and disappointment and blames himself for things that he has absolutely no control over. Aaron knows that on some level, his mother will always be there for him. Aaron pushes himself as far as he can, i.e., being home schooled to finish high school and, eventually, taking a college class. She is his bright light in an otherwise bleak existence.
Aaron will do anything he can for his mother. He works hard not to cause her any more pain by trying to cooperate.
His mother refuses to give up on him, even though he seems to be making little or no progress Aaron loves his mother so much and appreciates what she does for him. One of the things that keeps him alive is the agony that his family would have to endure if he were to end his life. Due to the vicious nature of the attack, Aaron is plagued by survivor's guilt, post traumatic stress episodes, anxiety attacks, paranoia, and severe depression. No one can do that for Aaron he has to do it for himself.Īaron, once handsome, popular, compassionate, and successful with a bright future, is reduced to a terrified, sad, depressed, emotionally numb person who has lost hope. She keeps Aaron going physically, but what she most wants to do is take away his pain and make him whole again. Barnaby, Aaron's mother wants to help her son, who, because of a vicious attack, has been reduced to a child-like state this thrusts her back in the role of caring for him as she did when he was little. We want to step in and make it all better like we did when they were little, but if we do, the child will never grow up, never be the person he was meant to be. One of the biggest challenges a mother has to face is to stand back and watching her children struggle to solve their own problems. Can his new shrink control his own demons long enough to treat Aaron, or will he only deepen the damage?ĭesperate to understand his attraction for Spencer, Aaron holds on to his sanity with both hands as it threatens to spin out of control. With his parents’ talk of institutionalizing him-of sacrificing him for the sake of his brothers’ stability-Aaron becomes desperate to find a way to cope with his psychological damage or even fake normalcy. If he could just learn to control his fear, that could be enough for him to find his footing again. When, in his very first semester of college, he’s assigned Spencer Thomas as a partner for his programming project, Aaron decides that maybe “normal” is overrated. But his life remains a constant string of nightmares, flashbacks, and fear.
Two years after a terrifying night of pain destroyed his normal teenage existence, Aaron Downing still clings to the hope that one day, he will be a fully functional human being. I can’t describe what it’s like to want to scream every minute of every day.
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